Two Goats on a Lexus?

For their safety and our sanity, our goaties stay securely fenced in, except for the brief twice-a-day dash between the gate and the deck steps. (Sometimes they just charge right up the steps, but occasionally that taste of freedom provokes an escape attempt and they take off. That's why I never let them out without a plastic container of animal crackers in my pocket - one rattle of that shaker bottle and they're all mine...)

My sister's goats, on the other hand, have free run of their property - and having been bottle-raised in the laundry room, the littlest two love hanging out around the house, especially waiting on the brick patio for snacks. Unfortunately they also love jumping on all the cars in the driveway. One quick leap onto the hood, another leap to the roof, slide down the windshield, then repeat...hours of fun! Sounds cute - until you see the damage a thirty-pound goat with sharp hooves can do to a paint job. (My husband cringes, my sister asks her guests to park at the far end of the lane.)

Recently my sister had an in-home appointment with a consultant, an affluent woman who arrived dressed to the nines in her brand new Lexus. (Who's guessing where this is going?) Forewarned, my sister had her children take the goats to the upper field with a bag of treats before her guest pulled up to the house. The appointment went well, and as the woman was closing her briefcase, my sister casually mentioned the goats and their penchant for jumping on vehicles, assuring her that the children were keeping the rascals far away from the driveway.

Business concluded, they stepped out onto the patio as they exchanged farewells. Goats, you may recall, have supersonic hearing, and from the far upper field Leia and Obi heard my sister's voice on the patio (the snack patio!) - and on also-supersonic hooves they broke away from their young watchers and charged down the hill toward the house. And the driveway. And the 2012 fully-loaded silver Lexus. Time stood still...

But today the goats would be denied their favorite jumping pastime - their fun thwarted as the frantic guest, in high heels and designer dress, vaulted across the patio and hurled herself onto the hood of her Lexus while shrieking "Stay away! Stay away!"

Sometimes having goats is just so much fun...