Mmmm...nothing says summer like fresh strawberries, right? These tantalizing sweet berries are often considered an aphrodisiac - and recently we wondered - does that also apply to goats? Here's why...
A few weeks ago I was at a nearby garage sale, wandering past tables of collectible snowmen and mounds of stained baby clothes, when an unfamiliar woman approached me and interrupted my internal musings (How could any one infant ever require at least eight dozen pastel onesies??). Putting her hand on my arm (ALERT! Unwanted yard sale contact!!), this woman exclaimed, "Oh! You're that lady with the Nigerian Dwarf goats, right? You don't know me, but I've driven by your house and seen them so many times!"
High alert now - maybe she wants to buy them!! If, perchance, she shares my same life/yard sale motto (I'll buy anything for a quarter), I'm ready to offer her the pair for a mere fifty cents (negotiable, delivery included). Already I can envision my new carefree life devoid of endless hours sweeping up goat droppings, chasing them out of the garden, being butted and kicked and pick-pocketed...
My new acquaintance continued, "They're males, right? Your neighbor told me that." Wary, I nodded, ready to claim them whatever gender she preferred, but she was all smiles. Sadly, here's where it all fell apart...
"Wonderful!! You see, my daughter has four Nigerian Dwarf does, and we can't find a male to breed them with. I'd love to rent your goats for a few months, for breeding purposes. What would you charge?"
This is where I had a very evil thought. What if, I wondered, I dropped them off at her house and just didn't mention that rather painful procedure Emerson and Elliot endured some five years ago? (Don't read this aloud; goats have supersonic hearing. Even now I can still hear their agonized cries...)
We should probably never mention that horrid day again - and as the yard sale woman waited expectantly for my answer, I envisioned adorable tiny Emersons and Elliots, happily frolicking with their parents in someone else's field...I mean, what if I let them give it a try? After all, how do we know that the banding was 100% effective? Maybe we could let them give their best effort for a few months or so, feed them bowls of hormone-enhancing strawberries...maybe by then her daughter would want to keep them, or possibly I could move and change my identity before she tried to return them...
I took her phone number, told her I'd think about it. Then I drove down the road and picked a dozen quarts of strawberries, just in case. How about it, boys? Want to play with four new girlfriends for a while?
To be continued...
