Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A Morning Mystery, or "Arma-goat-en?"

As I was making coffee this morning, Emily came inside after taking care of the goats, and I asked her, "So, where did the boys spend the night?" For some reason it is of interest to me to know where they sleep - mostly they prefer the shed roof, although sometimes one of the three platforms catches their overnight fancy. You can always tell in the morning where they slumbered by the mounds of forensic evidence left behind...sometimes the entire roof is covered...apparently even the fact that they are not eating during the night does not slow their digestion at all.

Emily's reply was alarming: "I didn't really find piles of poop anywhere, so I'm not sure. I checked all the usual places. There just wasn't any." What?? This is not possible!! Quickly I yelled for my family members to grab some emergency supplies and bottled water. If it was really true that there was no goat "evacuation" for an entire night, we would need to immediately evacuate ourselves (ok, I'm using two different meanings of the word here) because one of two drastic scenarios was occurring. Possibly the world as we know it was coming to an end (though I did note the sun's rise, and I saw no flying pigs outside) or else the goats, now gorging themselves on grain and hay on the deck (JUST OUTSIDE OUR KITCHEN!) were about to let loose some eight hours worth of toxic waste and our property would soon be uninhabitable anyway.  I threw some granola bars and a jar of peanut butter into a backpack, but strangely my husband and children just ignored me and continued eating breakfast...and then it was time for the bus and as Emily went out the door she turned and said, "Hey, Mom? I think I forgot to check inside the shed. It was still kind of dark outside..."

Oh, yeah...when I finally worked up enough courage to venture out to the yard, I quickly realized that the contents of the shed were far beyond the capabilities of an ordinary dustpan and brush. Luckily the farmer across the road owns a skidloader...

But at least I know that all is right in our little corner of the world...)

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