Don't Lie to Me!

At the time when we first got our goats, our family was fairly addicted to the TV series Lie to Me, the adventures of lie-detection expert Dr. Cal Lightman and his team of forensic truth-finders. I had actually purchased the entire three seasons on ebay, and we looked forward to watching an episode every night. However, once the goats arrived, we found ourselves spending our evenings mainly in the garage, and there was rarely time to watch anything on TV anymore. It was Emily who came up with the idea to combine the two activities into one, which we aptly dubbed "Lie to Me with Goats" (LTMwG). We decided to give it a try.

Ok, it was a good idea. It actually worked for three whole lovely nights, until the goats decided that if they were being brought into the house, they wanted to explore - not stay on someone's boring lap! (Wow, Emerson, come see what I found to jump on! Check out this hallway I found!) Back outside, boys! We realized this, though - goats may be the source of many untruths...

LIES OTHER PEOPLE MAY TELL YOU ABOUT GOATS
They're almost no work at all - they practically take care of themselves!
You'll never have to mow the grass again, and they'll eat all your weeds.
           (Beware of these statements especially if heard from someone trying to give you their old goats.)
You can even litter-train goats and keep them in your house. (Yeah, right!)
Don't worry, Mom, I'll get up early and take care of them before school. You won't have to do a thing!

LIES YOU MAY TELL OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR GOATS
No, I don't mind scooping up 6 - 8 - 10 pounds of goat poop each day...
Oh, they just nibble gently, they won't tear your clothing...
I'm sure that stain will wash out...
Really, they're just like puppies, only cleaner. (This statement, uttered by my husband, is not technically a lie, as he truly believes it - he's just never been involved in the clean-up.)

LIES YOUR GOATS WILL TELL YOU
I didn't knock over/chew/shred/pee on that - it was my brother!! He did it!
If you just take the leash off for one second to untangle it, I promise I won't run away!
But nobody fed us yet this morning! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!

LIES YOU MAY TELL YOUR GOATS
Oh no, we seem to be all out of animal crackers...
I'm just looking at your foot - I'm not going to try to hack off half your hoof with these sharp clippers.
If you'll just step through that gate, a wonderful surprise awaits you...

Now tell the truth - don't you wish you had goats?