Invisible Goats?

I have never been much of a trendsetter, up on the latest fashions or even aware of most celebrity gossip, but here is one thing I do know. In current popular culture, goats are the trendiest animal on the planet! From the crazy video game Goat Simulator, to screaming or fainting goats on YouTube, to the nutty goats featured in Super Bowl commercials, goats are everywhere.  (See, Megan, I may live in flannel-lined jeans and turtlenecks, but at least my style in animals is spot-on!) Coincidentally, 2015 is actually the Year of the Goat.

Almost makes you wish you had one of your own, right? If only they weren't such labor-intensive, parasite-ridden, mischief-making poop factories, everyone might have a goat (or two!) However...

I think I may have a solution. Recently I learned of this incredible opportunity for single women. Don't have a boyfriend? Don't want one, but wish your friends would stop trying to set you up on blind dates? Want the status of being "in a relationship" without all the hassles of commitment? For a low monthly fee, you can sign up for "Invisible Boyfriend," a virtual beau who will send you texts, photos and even flowers! What better way to fool those meddlesome relatives and still keep your evenings free?!

Now, how can we adapt this concept so that every family can experience the joys of goat-ownership without the endless frustrations and constant clean-up? That's where "Invisible Goat" is the answer! Say you've always wanted a dark and handsome fellow like the photo above - he's yours! All you need are a few photographs, some wisps of hay to stick in your hair, and a packet of goat "pellets" to sprinkle around your yard - you'll be the envy of all your friends!

Of course, if you want the real thing instead of the virtual goat experience, that can be arranged as well. (This month only, two-for-one deal!) Live the dream...