The Proposal - Goat Style

Every morning after my husband and kids are out the door, the goats and I watch the Today Show together. I catch up on news and weather while cleaning up the kitchen, and the goat boys hang out on their mat right outside the screen door (kept open at least a crack so they can hear). I figure as long as they hear voices they'll think someone's keeping an eye on them and are less likely to misbehave if I leave the room...but you just never know whether all news is goat-appropriate.

Yesterday one of the stories featured a fascinating new career choice - "proposal planner." Amazingly, you can pay these people several thousand dollars to choreograph a proposal to your beloved - if they are successful you will then need the services of a "wedding planner" (which when I got married was called "your mom and maid of honor" but now is almost mandatory for successful nuptials). I found the whole thing a bit absurd. Really? Any guy who can't come up with a creative way to pop the question himself doesn't deserve you! And so, in lieu of another post about goat bodily functions, I will instead share my own proposal story (and the goats will come back at the end).

It was 22 years ago, and Mike's extended family was vacationing on a guided tour of the British Isles. At the same time (ok, maybe we planned this part a little) I was visiting my younger sister who was an exchange student in London. My sister and I arranged to meet Mike's group in Edinburgh, Scotland and spend the day touring with them. As we climbed the steps in the city's famous castle, I was slightly annoyed that Mike kept stopping to look at armor displays and we had fallen behind the rest of the group. We stood alone at the wall atop the castle, overlooking lovely Edinburgh, when Mike suddenly dropped down on one knee and produced a diamond ring from his pocket. Stunned (he had kept this secret even from his own family - I never suspected) and enchanted, how could I refuse such a romantic proposal? The best part is that he thought it up all on his own without having to pay a professional.

However, little goats may have big ears, because this morning I overheard Emerson and Elliot plotting ways to earn money so that they could hire one of these "proposal planners." (Apparently they want to sell their droppings for fertilizer and hire themselves out for childrens birthday parties...) It seems they have some proposals for me - and by sneaking up behind them I know what they want...unlimited grain, apples and carrots increased to twice a day, and an open-gate policy during the day. They also propose access to the basement and a guarantee of at least six hours a day of outdoor human companionship, no matter what the weather...Better save up your money, goat boys, if you want to convince me of all that!