Elusive Eggs, Biting Dogs and Rabbit Poop

This is not a story about the goats...just maybe a story I would tell to the goats on a rainy day.

A few years ago, eighth grade Science Fair projects consumed our lives for several months. Since my sister had several ducks, Emily decided to do her project on the use of duck eggs in baking. Which cookies would taste the best - those baked with duck eggs or chicken eggs? Eager to be an official taste-tester, I helped her create a hypothesis, design the experiment and gather the needed supplies.

It was December when the time finally came to test her theory (and her baking skills). Unfortunately, my sister had since given her ducks away, tired of cleaning their droppings off her front porch. I tracked them to their new home, where I was informed that ducks do not lay eggs in the winter. (Apparently, I am the only person who did not know this.)  Panic set in. How on earth would Emily complete her project in time? After several phone calls to local farmers, I was referred to a small market about an hour from us.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"Yes, I was wondering, do you sell duck eggs?"

"Why yes, we do. Today we have white and chocolate. Which would you like?"

Good heavens - in all her research, Emily never told me duck eggs came in chocolate! Imagine those cookies! Oh, it must be a reference to color, like brown eggs...

"White will be fine. I'll need two dozen, if you have them."

"Certainly. Usually we have red velvet also, but those are sold out today."

(Pause) "You sell red velvet duck eggs?" (I am beginning to suspect that I have entered some alternate universe...)

"Duck eggs? (laughter) Oh, no, ducks never lay eggs in the winter. I thought you asked for cupcakes!"

*                *                *               *               *                *               *                *               *                 *

We did finally track down the necessary eggs. I thought the cookies were all delicious. The student who won first place tested whether the mouth of a dog is actually cleaner than a human's mouth, as is often theorized, and she had to swab the throats of ten different dogs to obtain her specimens. I truly don't recall the result, just the bite marks on her hands.

By far the most memorable project for me was this: Do rabbits fed different brands of food produce different amounts of waste? This adventurous young girl borrowed five rabbits from a local breeder and kept them in her basement for two months, giving them selected diets and then collecting and weighing their waste products every day. Also, because the rabbits got lonely, (don't ask, I have no idea how you know this) she had to play music for them all day long. Her frazzled mother described this ordeal to me in great detail. Suddenly the duck egg hunt didn't seem so bad.

So here's my offer - if anyone would like to borrow my goats, control their diets and measure their droppings, I can almost guarantee an A+ on a Science Fair project. I'll even sweeten the deal with a dozen duck egg cookies (in the spring, of course!)