The Case of the Disappearing Goat

One thing I know - a human can never outrun a goat. If your goat is on the loose and you think you can catch him, you are so, so wrong. The only way that goat is going back in the pen is if he wants to...which is why I never go outside without stuffing my pockets full of animal crackers. Of course, you can only bribe a goat if you actually know where he is...

Goat life has been rough lately. Even the addition of pricey minerals and aloe vera juice has not cleared up the boys' skin problems, the latest parasite medication had no effect, and now Elliot has begun limping so badly that it is sometimes hard to get him up in the morning. Rain and snow keep them in the shed, where every day I clean up the equivalent of a 10-megaton "poop bomb" - spring cannot come soon enough! So when the sun peeked out this afternoon and melted yesterday's snow, I decided to let the goats out of their yard for their favorite activity - free time in the lower field, a virtual smorgasbord of delectable weeds and brush. Excellent for caprine digestion, and I can count on them downing an entire teapot of warm water afterwards as they are always so thirsty after browsing in the field - must be all the spicy onion grass they consume.

Emily and I were chatting as the goats browsed lazily, when suddenly Emerson looked up  towards the driveway, then took off at full speed - up, over the bank and that quickly he was gone from view. I yelled for Emily to watch Elliot while I clambered up the bank as fast as my arthritic knees would take me (realizing too late I should have sent Emily, the president of her school's Running Club) - where on earth had that crazy goat gone? Checking the front yard and the road, I had visions of disaster. He could be nearly to the next town by now, or munching poisonous shrubbery at a neighboring farm...

Out of breath and having no idea where Emerson was, I stumbled to the front door to call for Megan. And there, through the window, I saw that little goat - standing at the water bowl on the back deck - he had gulped down the entire amount and was licking the bowl dry. Apparently in the field he was thirsty, so he dashed up to where he knew he could find a drink (cold water, even!). I'm sure it seemed like a sensible idea to him, but it did make me think about getting him a collar with a little GPS locator device - wonder if they sell them for goats?