Having just completed their first semester of 11th grade, my daughters informed me that they are now selecting classes for their senior year. Many of the required courses are out of the way, so they have more freedom to choose electives - and so I unveiled to Emily my Grand Plan - I think she should take all the Agricultural classes. Imagine the benefits if Emily took "Wildlife Management and Animal Science!" Even "Equine Science" would be useful - goats aren't that different from horses...really, why does she need Psychology and Advanced Creative Writing anyway? Priorities, girl!
Actually, as I was drying dishes last night Emily mentioned casually that she was considering AP Statistics as one of her classes. After I swept up all the shards of glass from my priceless heirloom casserole dish, I sat down with her to discuss this. (For anyone wondering, Advanced Placement classes are basically college-level classes taken in high school and eligible for college credit if you attain a score of "3" or greater on a national exam - 3 out of what, I have no idea...) I was somewhat confused as, first, she hates math, and second, although she always does well in school, she has never even taken an Honors-level (the tier below AP) math class in her life. History, Literature, English...sure. Math? That's like me trying to be a tour bus driver. (Anyone who's ever seen me try to parallel park would understand.) Just because it will look good on a college application doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea, Emily! (And I am never helping you with homework!)
This occurred to me. Just as there are ascending levels of difficulty in classes (Remedial Math, On-Level, Honors, AP), the same goes for pets. Myself, I am really good at cats. Never met a cat I didn't love, who didn't love me, who I couldn't successfully care for. Litter boxes, worm pills skillfully hidden in liverwurst, flea and tick products, I'm a pro. This may have led me to the false assumption that I could handle any animal. However, cats probably fall in the "on-level" pet category. Most people can manage them. Before I tackled goats, though, I should have recalled our experience with Neville, the bright blue betta fish Emily brought home from eighth grade. While dear Neville had thrived for several weeks as a class pet (and science observation project), we killed him in just twelve days. Wrong food? Too many minerals in the water? House too cold? Who knows. We tried - and failed. It seems to me that a solitary fish in a bowl of water is a pretty easy task - yet if we couldn't even pass this test, why on earth did we sign up for AP level caprine pets??
Right now it feels like we're hovering in the "failing" zone. The goat boys are besieged by a mystery parasite - skin flaking off, weird bald patches, and Emerson is losing all the hair around his eyes and mouth. Emily and I spent part of the afternoon cleansing a putrid crust from each of the goats' "under-tail" area (yes, the dreaded "butt-fungus" has returned) and applying antibiotic cream to an open sore on Elliot's rear. We treated them with an insecticide powder so toxic to humans we had to wear gloves and burn our clothes. When I advise Emily not to take AP Stats because it will be unending work with little reward...what does that sound like?
And yet...today was sunny and warm and just lovely outside - we took Emerson and Elliot on a long walk down in the meadow and by the creek. No leashes, just trust...they stayed with us and ate weeds voraciously and frolicked around the fields in utter delight. It was like introducing your child to the grandest playground ever...and when we came back to the pen I sat down on a mat (in exhaustion) and both goats came over and laid down next to me, one on either side all snuggled up and happy. Maybe Emily could do some sort of AP Independent Study about goats...
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