1. If you have guests over on a sunny day, and one of your guests is wearing a fetching straw hat, it is wise to inquire whether her hat is of the inexpensive-and-easily-replaced-yard-sale variety, or whether by chance it is a rare-and-very-pricey authentic Australian Helen Kaminsky Original straw bonnet. Depending on her answer, it may not be prudent to let the goats out. (It may, in fact, be recommended to keep them separated from this guest by at least one, but better two, fences.)
2. If you have omitted Step 1 and, while you are serving iced tea, your goat leaps onto the chair next to your "hatted" guest and begins to gently nuzzle her neck, and she remarks how sweet and friendly your goat is, BEWARE! You may be tempted to smile proudly and agree (as such compliments to goats are rare), but this is definitely not the correct course of action!
3. A human cannot outrun a goat, even when the goat is handicapped by the weight of an authentic Australian Helen Kaminsky Original straw bonnet in his mouth. Also, although time with family and friends may be priceless, an authentic Australian...(you know) with half the brim munched off is, well...nearly worthless.
4. and finally...Contrary to the popular Hallmark phrase, sometimes it really is too late to say you're sorry!
(Note: photos are for facetious re-enactment only. Sadly, the actual hat described is no longer available.)
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