If You Give a Goat a Melon...

Knowing how my husband enjoys a horticultural challenge, a friend gave us several packets of seeds sent from her mother in California, where drought and watering restrictions have made gardening impractical. Since the clear plastic bags were labelled only in Chinese, we simply planted, fertilized, and waited to see what grew. From the nine varieties of seeds, three plants emerged - some bumpy white gourds, a spicy lettuce, and the largest melons we had ever seen. The melon plant quickly took over the entire garden, its vines aggressively curling out into the yard and over a wall as the fruit grew more and more enormous. I was reminded of Roald Dahl's classic "giant peach" and somewhat fearful of waking to find my house surrounded by vicious melons... When the most mammoth of them suddenly changed color and took on a chalky coating, I begged my husband to pick it before it became too heavy to lift.

Apparently similar to zucchini and meant for cooking, the melon fought us tenaciously, gripping my sharpest knife in its tough flesh and leaving my hands raw from contact with its spiky coating. I managed to hack apart some chunks to add to a simmering stew, but quickly realized this beast (with six others still growing outside) was more than I could handle. Where could I turn for help?

Fortunately, goats love Chinese cooking melons and had it gnawed down to a paper-thin rind within two days. I think I need to save some seeds and plant these again next year!