Goats in Church??

Like to sing, knit, craft, cook, read, or pull weeds? Our local church has countless opportunities to get involved and volunteer - no matter what your talents, there is a need to fill. Play the piano. Teach Sunday School. Hold babies. Be a greeter. Sing in the choir. Count offering. Join the Kitchen Committee. Serve communion. Prepare funeral meals. Lead a Book Club. Visit the sick. Knit prayer shawls. Park cars. Stuff mailboxes. My husband was even approached several years ago about joining a Dramatic Mime Ministry. (Those of you who know him can guess his horrified response!!)

Something for everyone - and yet...Last Sunday I overheard a conversation in which a newer church member mentioned how much her children enjoyed the youth choir, then remarked, "and we're also planning to help out those baby goats, you know - the Orange Peel Ministry."

The what??? Em and Ellie are now a ministry?? Yes, I did place a small sign on the bulletin board asking for citrus peel donations, and yes, I do currently have twelve families who faithfully bring dried peels to church each week, and yes, I am so grateful for these free and tasty goat snacks - this is amazing!

With the coming of spring (hallelujah!!), peak citrus season is almost over - but I don't want to deprive my friends of the joy of serving. If only I could expand the Orange Peel Ministry somehow, perhaps with an event like our annual leaf-raking or All-Church Clean-Up Day...

Ministry opportunity: Goat Day! Bring your own shovels, rakes, buckets and wheelbarrows! Serve those who poop every twenty minutes and can't clean up after themselves! A whole winter's worth of goat muck - let's make a day of it!!

Note - snack provided. (You guessed it - fresh orange slices!)

Are goats afraid of spiders?

Checking the attendance roster for my Kindergarten Sunday School class this week, I heard a commotion across the room. "Teacher, Teacher, come quick! There's a HUGE spider in the legos!"

So what does this have to do with goats? You'll see. I could say that I calmly walked to the lego corner and took care of the problem. This would be a lie. Actually, I stood petrified by the door, frantically debating whether to activate the Intruder Alert or simply scream for an adult helper from across the hall and abandon my young students to the arachnid. Fortunately, my panicked prayers were soon answered another way as I heard, "Oh, never mind. Isaac killed it."

During our Bible story lesson that morning, I asked the kids to share things which made them afraid. I got the usual responses - the dark, lightning storms, growling dogs, being lost from my parents - as well as the more disturbing responses of people with glowing red eyes and getting a small alligator as a pet and then it grows so big and eats my whole family. (Hey, just get a kitten, okay??)

What are goats afraid of? Mine are terrified of cats. Heavy rain. Very loud noises, like me screaming and throwing water bowls at them (not often, but sometimes they drive me so CRAZY!) And for Elliot - being locked in The Chokey.

If you haven't read Roald Dahl's classic Matilda, you should. At least watch the movie...if only to understand the terror felt by evil Miss Trunchbull's young students when she locked them for hours in a cramped dark closet inhabited by creepy crawly creatures...I imagine it a bit like the shelter in the above photo where Emerson is taking a nap - and where I accidentally locked Elliot for half an afternoon recently.

Elliot had already gulped down his noon bucket of warm water, but pokey Emerson was still taking tentative licks with his tongue, testing the temperature, the vinegar concentration...and then Ellie went nuts and started butting at him and biting my jacket in search of treats, just go away and let him drink before I freeze to death out here, you stupid animal!!  Frustrated, I shoved Elliot inside and latched the door, and then the mail truck came with a package and the phone rang and I made some hot cocoa...and he was only in there a few hours before I remembered - but now Elliot always sleeps safely on top of the house. Sorry, sweetie!!

Birthday greetings to this pair of crazy kids. Seven years seems like, well, an eternity...best goats ever.

Minimalists, Goats and Games - Who Goes First?

If you had to get rid of 24 things from your house today, could you do it?

Wanting to both eliminate clutter and donate to a  favorite charity, my daughter and I committed to this popular internet challenge - on January 1 we each discarded one item, January 2 called for two things, and so on with more items filling the box each day. Clothing, books, kitchen gadgets, anything goes. (Why on earth do we own six blenders? And a dozen jars of anchovy paste? Yup - food counts too.) It starts out easy, with too-tight jeans and chipped coffee mugs being tossed, along with a bunch of Tupperware with no lids and old VHS tapes. By the second week I had cleaned out all the closets and every drawer in the kitchen (a shoe box of ballpoint pens saved me mid-week - how many pens does one family need, anyway?) 

It was Week 3 where I started to sweat, and the rest of my family became suspicious. Doubtful that his missing NASCAR t-shirts were really all "in the laundry" (as I claimed), my husband installed a lock on his toolbox. It might seem simple to find 22 unneeded items in the entire house, except that yesterday I scrounged and barely got 21! Decision time - does a pair of socks count for two? And what about old sneakers - if I remove the laces can I call them four pieces?? Mom, have you seen my iPod? (Busted!!) And my Batman hat?

And then I looked out the window...

I know, I know...this is an evil thought, but I've often wondered who would notice if I relocated them to that farm up the road late at night...checking off not just one-two boxes for Em and Ellie but also the vast amount of supplies they've accumulated - four water buckets, five hay tubs, a half-dozen winter coats with Velcro straps, leashes, collars, containers and bowls for sunflower seeds, orange peels, animal crackers and apple cider vinegar...don't forget all the mineral blocks, dewormers, anti-itch spray, antibiotic paste, grooming brushes, hoof trimmers, one hoof-trimming stand (crafted by my husband but yet unused because I can't coax the goats into it!), rubber sleeping mats (partly chewed), brooms (for sweeping poop), wheelbarrows (for stowing it) and ten large garbage cans full of locust pods collected this fall. The minimalist challenge? Sure, nothing to it! Give me a number!

Here's my suggestion. Do this - but start in February. Only three fewer days than the months around it may not sound like much, but this amounts to 90 items. Trust me on this! Mom, what happened to the TV? And why are the cats hiding under the bed all the time?

Feel free to come admire my new un-cluttered house. (Just don't take off your coat while you're here!)