The average life expectancy for a goat is twelve years, although goats who are exceptionally "well-cared-for" can live to be twenty. The running joke among my friends is that Em and Ellie (now almost six) will probably still be dancing on our back deck when they're thirty. (Hey Mom, can you bring out a fresh bucket of warm water? Don't forget the vinegar!)
That said, last week I nearly killed Emerson with a banana peel.
Inspired when my sister told me how her four goats love banana peels (although they scoff at soybeans and locust pods), I tried these on Em and Ellie, and yes, they relished this new potassium-rich treat. Suddenly my friends and neighbors all had blackened bananas or bags of slimy peels to share... and then one morning Emerson staggered out of the shed, glassy-eyed, belly bulging and foaming at the mouth.
Panic struck as my fingers flew across the keyboard - every Google search of his symptoms turned up "bloat," a life-threatening condition of pent-up gas bubbles in the digestive system most often caused by excessive grazing on fresh spring grass after a winter in the barn. With scant few blades of grass peeking up through the snow, this made no sense, but I initiated the recommended treatments in desperation.
Constantly massage the rumen, particularly the left side.
Hold goat upright and pat with vigor as though burping a baby.
Encourage goat to keep walking around, following behind to listen for escape of gas.
Force-feed goat a paste of water mixed with powdered laundry detergent or baking soda.
If no improvement, may need to puncture the abdomen to release pressure.
After about three hours of enforced long walks and rumen-rubbing, I was exhausted, frozen, and covered in a slimy goat-spit/baking soda paste. Brother Elliot had been excited to tag along, head-butting Emerson (or sometimes me) whenever Emerson tried to lie down. And finally Emerson was improving - belly softer, eyes clear, even willing to accept a few animal crackers. By afternoon, he was munching on hay, back to his usual frisky self.
Was it a weird mid-winter bloat? Maybe - but my theory is that a length of banana peel got stuck somewhere and impeded the flow of digestive gases. We're not taking any chances. From now on we'll stick to orange peels!
