Circle of Trust for Goats

Who would have guessed that goats and humans worry about the same things??

For Em and Ellie, the best part of each day is when I open the gate and take them for a walk, perhaps along the creek or in the woods, where they amble and graze while I ponder all the things I should be doing instead and how much warmer I would be inside the house. Thus hatched my idea - Maybe I could train the goats to walk themselves! After all, they never run off; I don't even use collars anymore. Dogs learn their boundaries - why not goats?

My plan seemed simple - just lead Em and Ellie to their favorite grazing area, pat them on the heads, and go back inside for some hot cocoa (keeping an eye on them through the window, of course). Sounds good, right?

WRONG!! So very, very wrong!

My main concern with leaving them unattended was that they might run off - wander into the road, head for the center of town, something like that. Now I know - this will never happen. Every time I backed away five steps, the goats moved five steps toward me, like a weirdly-choreographed dance. As soon as they realized my intention to abandon them among all those delicious weeds, panic set in. She's getting away! Catch her before she's gone forever! One time I sneaked in the front door while they were distracted, but as soon as Emerson noticed my absence he started wildly running laps around the house, pitifully crying out for me. I know you're in there somewhere!! Come back, mommy! Come back!

Since that traumatic incident, Emerson never strays more than a few inches from my side on walks, wary that I'll succeed in my quest to abandon him. It's like having a big black furry magnet glued to my leg, constantly alert to my location and movements. Kind of creepy, actually. If only they knew they have no cause to worry - if there were any way to escape from those crazy goats, I would have already found it.

"Free to good home - actually, Free to ANY home - 2 neurotic goats. One is clingy and occasionally vicious and the other has an incurable festering skin condition."  Yeah, the phone is ringing off the hook...