A Goat on the Podium

I heard this morning that we are at the 100-day countdown for the start of the summer Olympics, which reminded me of the Sochi games two years ago and the February blizzard which left us mammoth snowdrifts for weeks and turned our driveway into a treacherous luge run with four-foot high ice walls. That was also when Emerson, frustrated with pent-up energy, invented the game of running up and down the driveway, over and over, at breakneck goat speed until we finally decided he deserved a medal.

All I can say now is, thank goodness for spring!!

As I had hoped, the arrival of warmer weather accomplished what none of my myriad homeopathic and pharmacological treatments could do - Elliot's skin condition has again abated. Hair is growing back where he sported scabby, bald patches, his weeping sores have disappeared and he no longer itches and bites himself all day. After four years I finally see the pattern - the exacerbations start each December for a winter of misery, then he improves in April and by May will be gorgeous until cold weather arrives again. This is a puzzle for which I have no answer.

Spring heralds other goat activities for us, including the administration of annual vaccines (which we did Sunday afternoon) and quarterly hoof-trimming (which we are postponing until my daughters are home as this is at least a 3-person job here). With my birthday forthcoming, a friend suggested I treat myself to a "mani-pedi" and get my nails done. No thanks, really, but I wonder if I could somehow convince the goats that hoof care can be a soothing and pleasurable experience rather than the frantic fight we usually face. I mean, what if I went to a nail salon and behaved like Em and Ellie? Really!! Can't you imagine the conversation behind the counter?

"Hey Stella, your next appointment is here. Want me to pin her down while you file her nails? Maybe Kelly can stuff cookies in her mouth while singing 'Soft Kitty'  -  just hope I don't get kicked in the head again this time!"

Goats...

When You Get What You Pay For

Last week I stopped at a local market to pick up something for supper and decided to try the new homemade soup at the deli counter. Turkey chili was on special, and I figured I could stretch a quart container into a family meal by serving it over baked potatoes. (That way I'd still have room in the food budget for necessities, like chocolate-chunk ice cream...) The deli employee scooped out my soup, weighed the container and slapped on a label before turning to the next customer while she slid my chili backhand across the counter.

Nudged out of line by impatient shoppers behind me, I stared at my container of soup for a long time. Was it my new bifocals, or had I entered some alternate universe where kidney beans were stewed in liquid gold? The price sticker on the lid read $118.48, more than my entire weekly budget and certainly more than I wanted to pay for one quart of something I usually just make at home with some frozen meat and a can opener.

Also, for that price I could have bought 39 half-gallons of premium ice cream.

What to do? Abandon it on the counter and run? Wait in line to complain? Or just count it as an unexpected weight-loss opportunity and savor a spoonful each meal until next payday? Imagine how slim I'd be after a week without ice cream!

Recently a novice goat-owner asked for advice about finding inexpensive fencing to contain her two furry kids (one of whom had already leaped out of their 6-foot high temporary enclosure). Here's the answer I didn't give - if you want inexpensive, you got the wrong pets. This I know for sure...my next pet is a turtle. What I learned from another friend is this:

Pet turtles will hibernate all winter long in a tank on your kitchen counter - you don't even have to feed them!! I was so jealous when I heard this I'm pretty sure I turned green just talking to her. Not that I really want Emerson and Elliot lounging on my kitchen counter all winter (picture that!), but if I could just close up the shed before Christmas and have them awaken in the spring...

Anyway, just finished writing another check to the vet and need to make a trip to the grocery store...oranges, animal crackers, vinegar, baking soda, sunflower seeds, antibiotic cream...maybe once I get everything on the goats' list, I can still buy something for myself!