Got Goats - Now What??

Next week will mark the four-year anniversary of the day we brought our goats home - a muddy spring afternoon when two bouncy kids weaseled their way into our hearts and launched our family from normalcy into an adventure of endless chaos. We knew very little about goats and had absolutely no idea what we were getting into, and while we are still far from experts, there are certainly a few things Em and Ellie have taught us over the past four years. (I give them all the credit!)

First, goats are farm animals. No matter how much you want them to be pets, their needs and nature will never be like your dog and cat. We're making it work, but it hasn't been easy.

Goats reach their full weight at age three. Elliot weighed 75 pounds in 2013, but the challenges of using a bathroom scale for this have prevented any further attempts. We use an estimated weight of 80 pounds for med dosing. Emerson is about ten pounds lighter.

An average goat lifespan is twelve years, though "well-cared-for" goats can live to be twenty. I do the math every time they (or I!) have a birthday!

Goats are afraid of the dark. Skeptical when I first read this, we devised a few experiments, and it is definitely true. (My guilt over this was assuaged when my husband ran electric to their shed for a nightlight.)

My goats finish a bale of hay every six days in the winter, about every three weeks when they can graze outside. Their diet also includes black-oil sunflower seeds, goat mineral mix, baking soda, a scant amount of grain, locust tree pods, animal crackers and dried orange peels.

Goats prefer their water warmed, especially with a shot of apple cider vinegar. They will rarely drink water cooler than 60 degrees F. I heat a teapot on the stove every morning. Bribery works too - Ellie will gulp a whole bowl of warm water if I stand next to him with a handful of animal crackers for a reward. Adequate hydration is critical for wethers (neutered males) due to the risk of urinary calculi, a usually-fatal condition which is still my greatest fear.

Other preventative measures for urinary health include avoiding any corn products or alfalfa hay, using grain (in scant amounts) and minerals which contain ammonium chloride supplements and encouraging frequent elimination. (Yes, my goats will "pee" on command when reminded...)

Goats can be litter-box trained. Em and Ellie did this themselves, choosing the tray of hay I wanted them to sleep in. They will still "go" outside, but in the shed they always use the tray.

A good goat vet is hard to find. Much of the care you can do yourself (hoof-trimming, yearly vaccines, basic wound and skin care) but I sleep easier knowing I have that phone number on the refrigerator. I once assisted for minor surgery on a fully-anesthetized goat on an old beach blanket in our driveway.

Goats are prone to parasites and skin maladies. Just accept this. A pestilence-ridden, scabby goat can make you feel like a terrible owner, but you just have to do what you can and make the best of it.

As I have said before, goats will consume all your free time, decimate your rainy-day fund, drive away your friends and possibly make you lose your sanity. Still, you will fall in love with them and someday you be consoling them during a thunderstorm and find yourself singing them this classic from Broadway's Wicked... "Who can say if I've been changed for the better; because I knew you, I have been changed for good." 

P.S. Although, I must admit there are the occasional days (like when they learned to open the gate latch and chewed up my best sandals) when my song is different - "Loathing, unadulterated loathing..."   Gotta love you, goat boys!