Celebrating our goats' 6th birthday causes me to recall the many struggles they have overcome - like the horrific parasitic infestation which consumed our summer of 2013 (above). They have survived not only having their horns burned off (twice) with a branding iron and their tender testicles snapped off with tight rubber bands but also countless blizzards, one flood, one bout of urinary calculi, five skin biopsies under anesthesia, coccidiosis, relentless itching, a bad bee sting and a wasp nest, numerous superficial cuts and scrapes, and most recently, banana bloat. Oh, and last month I almost killed them with granola bars.
First, know that when my daughters were young I was the absolute queen of childproofing. We installed baby gates, cabinet latches, window guards, even locks on the toilet bowls (again, apologies to those adult guests who couldn't figure them out!) We anchored all the heavy furniture to the walls, bought Mr. Yuk stickers by the roll and carefully sliced grapes and hot dogs into thin, choke-proof slivers. We stored the steak knives above the refrigerator and secured the yard with a four-foot fence and self-locking gates. "Safety First" was always my policy...
Since then, I've slipped up a few times. (Face it, the first time your daughter drives off in a car with a boy, you realize it doesn't matter that you've protected her with dye-free detergent and lead-free mini-blinds all those years!) So when I carefully latched my husband's plastic lunch box and set it outside just for a moment while he warmed up his truck, how could I have foreseen that the goats would find and destroy it that quickly? Commotion mere moments later led me to this scene scattered about the deck - one lunch box (in pieces), a plastic fork and spoon, one banana (intact), one container of salami and cheese cubes, one chocolate pudding (crushed but uneaten), a few carrot sticks, and two goats with guilty faces. I did a quick inventory...Goats! Where is the apple? (Shrug) Did you really eat the napkins?? (Yum!) Wait! What happened to both granola bars - chewy chocolate ones in the foil wrappers??
Recalling Emerson's near-fatal blockage from a strip of banana peel, I felt my pulse quicken. Would they have chewed through the wrappers, or swallowed them intact in the foil? The smooth bars might slide down a goat's throat, but then what? Would the wrappers burst open in the rumen or just cause a deadly obstruction? Also, did each goat eat one granola bar, or did someone consume both?
The next few days were tense. Every morning I took a deep breath before peering into their shed, fearful of what I'd find. I palpated their bellies, monitored their eating patterns, examined their droppings for pieces of foil or chocolate oat chunks. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's been three weeks now - are we safe? Maybe...
I bought my husband a new lunch box - galvanized steel with a combination lock. Also, I now unwrap his granola bars and store them in easily-digestible paper towels. You can never be too careful!
