Signs of the Times?

Imagine my surprise to see this when I went out to feed the goats yesterday - Really, boys?? Am I rattling the hay tub too much and disturbing your naps? (Yes, I did slam the gate shut extra loudly just to spite them, ungrateful animals...)

As it turns out, I didn't realize my husband was doing some free-lance sign repair for a local church, and this had been dropped off earlier for him to paint. Still...

Why Goats Don't Wear Flip Flops

If there were a scale to measure quantitative danger levels of various pets, goats would fall somewhere in the middle, midway between kittens and venomous snakes. Are you looking for a companion more adventurous than a goldfish, but are not yet ready to adopt a poison dart frog? A goat is the ideal pet for you! Most goat-related injuries are easily treated with a standard first-aid kit, minor in comparison to a frightening peril highlighted this week by a segment on my favorite morning show.

What now?, you may be wondering. Carbon monoxide? Speeding trains? Exploding airbags? No - this is a more insidious hazard, an everyday object present in nearly every American home and a far greater risk than goats - the common flip flop.

I know, you are thinking - how can this be? I wear them every day! And yet, the numbers do not lie - fully 25,000 people each year visit emergency rooms for flip flop-related injuries! Unfortunately I could not locate similar statistics for goats, but surely it is much lower...

I know, I know...it makes no sense. Flip flops, while certainly lacking in arch support, cannot butt you, bite you, or gore you with their horns. Foam footwear is unlikely to hurtle down the hill and knock you flat, and the care of flip flops does not require straining to lift heavy hay bales, wielding razor-sharp hoof trimmers or handling toxic parasectisides. Additionally, flip flops can hardly send their owners into financial ruin or mental breakdown - and yet...

Don't take chances - trade in your flip flops for goats. You can never be too careful when it comes to the safety of your family.

Front Yard Bliss

Elliot is sweet, gentle, and simple. He lacks his brother's sleek coat and devious cunning, but for all his flaws you cannot help but love him. As life goes, Elliot has fair reason to complain. A chronic skin ailment causes him intense, flesh-biting itching; he endures painful treatments and the humiliation of shorn fur. His brother, the only other goat in his world, is a nasty bully determined to deny Elliot access to hay, weeds and even human affection. Plus, sometimes it rains...

Even a few raindrops send Ellie into his Oz-like "Wicked Witch of the West" impersonation - I'm melting! I'm melting!! - and he runs for shelter with his head tucked all the way to his chest. (If I can't see the rain, it can't get me?) 

When dark clouds threatened yesterday, I rushed outside to bring the goats from their remote fenced field back to their shed. Emerson ran directly in and was under roof before the storm began, but Elliot became confused by the first raindrops and took off in the opposite direction in his peculiar "rain gait" with his head bent and eyes closed. Apparently mistaking my husband's large storage shed for his own safe haven, he flung himself repeatedly against the closed door - Why am I still getting wet? Oh, help me, help me! Let me in!

Now soaked myself as the storm intensified, I chased after him and attempted to shove him back toward the house, but an eighty-pound soggy goat is not easy to move and all I accomplished was to send him off in again the wrong direction, toward the road. Completely disoriented, he suddenly skidded, stopped, and whipped his head around - Oh, look where I am! I'm in the front yard!! (Understand, the front yard, due to traffic proximity and ornamental shrubbery, is one place the goats are never, ever allowed. They know this well.) With no concern for the pelting rain, he flung himself up in the air with a frisky sideways kick, jumping in great circles and apparently celebrating with a jubilant dance...I'm in the front yard and I even got here first and this makes me so happy!!

Fortunately the front yard has a never-used gate into the goat pen, so when I caught up to my sopping-wet, crazy-dancing Ellie, I coaxed him over - Oh look, Emerson! I'm even going through that gate we're not allowed to use! Life is so good! - and then everyone was where they needed to be and I went to find some dry clothes. It may not have improved Ellie's overall situation, but I hope the memory of that brief joyful experience got him through the rest of the torrential storm.

I know several people facing difficult situations right now - financial strain, insurmountable illness, broken relationships, heart-rending loss. Along with the strength and healing I pray them every day, let me add this - may there also be an occasional moment of "front-yard bliss," even one small happy thing, just to brighten each difficult day and help ride out life's storms.