A Care Package for the Goats

A friend recently asked me to list my daughters' ten favorite things - limited to items she could both afford and fit in a shoe box. (Sorry, Megan, the life-size Batmobile is out!) Apparently she wanted to mail each of them a "college care package" of special treats. Hmmm...well, Emily likes gourmet tea bags, homemade granola and chocolate-covered raisins; Megan craves pistachios, avocados and sardines in mustard. A good book is always a winner...

But here's the problem - now the goats are jealous. Where's our care package? And so, in no particular order, here is a list of Emerson and Elliot's most favorite things for anyone interested. (Warning - they don't all fit in a shoe box.)

Fresh fruit (especially apple chunks and watermelon, but never pears, peaches or cantaloupe)

Pods PODS! PODS! PODS! (from locust trees, the crispy brown seeds that litter the ground and crunch up so delicious...)

"Orange chips" - a favorite snack created by drying orange peels in the sun until they are hard and crispy

Animal crackers - the more stale, the better. Graham crackers are also an acceptable substitute.

Hot water (which we gave them in the winter and has somehow become a year-round requirement; they turn away at anything less than steaming) and...

Apple Cider Vinegar - in large quantities a necessary additive to their water bowl; they reach their tongues under the bottle to catch the drips as I pour it in and refuse any water not "soured" as they watch

Super-fresh "right from the bale" hay (not to be confused with hay that has been in the feeding tub over an hour and therefore become unacceptable from exposure to air and sunlight)

Paper of any sort, including school assignments, shopping lists, pages from a book or the mail

"Walkie Time" - anticipated daily activity when they are released from their fence to run free and graze wild weeds for an hour or so, and...last, but definitely not least...

Orange Mitten Massage (pictured above) - this bizarre thick rubber glove is so coarsely textured that I had to ask the woman holding the yard sale what on earth its purpose could be. (Apparently it is designed for scrubbing vegetables or peeling potatoes.) Not a bad deal for a quarter, I told Emily, The goats will love this! And they do, lining up for a good nightly rubdown by "orange mitten." Emerson often carries it around in his mouth, looking for someone to wear it...

So, to my family and friends who already drop off watermelon rinds, orange peels and bags of weeds or pods, many thanks from the grateful goats. (What's that - spoiled?? Not my goats!)

Disparity (the word is)

Sometimes, what you wish for is not really what you want. It took a midnight phone call and a smashed watermelon to make me realize this.

Last week I compared Emerson and Ellie to perpetual toddlers, needy little creatures who would never learn to fend for themselves.  Unlike my own daughters, now embracing college life away from home, my sweet goatbabies will forever be dependent on me to meet all their needs. Feed us, walk us, save us from the rain - this will never change. Unfortunately, the goats misinterpreted this as criticism, and now they are working diligently to assert their independence.  First, Elliot learned to open the fence gate with his nose (Hey, we can let ourselves out now!) and then those rascals started finding their own food. My husband recently picked a large watermelon from the garden and brought it up to the deck, forgetting that this fruit is a caprine delicacy. So quick they leapt up and rolled the melon off the outside table...Smash! So yummy! And it even broke into two halves - one for each of us! Don't bother chopping apples today, mommy, we got our own snack. 

Ahh...snacks. Before sending my daughters off to college, I took them grocery shopping for snacks to take along. It was a fun "mother-daughters" outing with no restrictions. (I even bought six cartons of ice cream for myself!) In farewell notes I wrote for them, I told them how much I'd miss trips like this, as well as things like Megan's two-foot high stack of books in the living room, and how Emily always asked me for help finding just the right words as she typed essays on her laptop in the kitchen.  I tried to focus on the positive aspects of their new adventure, stoic and dry-eyed even at the infamous "cry-and-bye" candlelight ceremony as we left them on campus, shedding no tears all that next week - until I once again entered our local market and found myself confronted with all my girls' favorite foods, aisle after aisle of treats I now had no reason to buy. A week's worth of tears flowed freely as I numbly filled my cart with bread and milk and eggs, smaller portions now for just two of us. I may have filled the cupboards, but the house is still so empty...

Monday night I was woken by a harsh jangling sound - the telephone? Fumbling in the dark for the receiver, I glanced at my alarm clock - after midnight! Now in full panic mode, I managed a stuttered "hello?" as I pushed myself upright. The voice which greeted me was cheerful - and strangely familiar.

"Hi Mom, this is Emily."

Instantly the innate "Mom-to-the-Rescue" response was activated, my senses on full alert. "Sweetheart, what's wrong? What happened? Are you okay?" Phone in one hand, I was already reaching for the car keys (hospital? police station?) as she continued.

"Well, I'm writing an essay, and I just can't think of the right word for my conclusion. Can I read you the sentence? It's due in the morning."

I turned my disapproving alarm clock toward the wall and closed my eyes as she read aloud. In a dance so familiar, we struggled together for the word she sought - conundrum? quandary? dissonance? -  but this was not our night and finally I left her with a poor substitute and the reassurance that the professor wouldn't notice. And yet...It was about an hour later that the elusive word emerged from the depths of my groggy brain. I crawled from my bed to text her, knowing she could still make the correction before her morning class.

Her response on my screen is one I'll never delete - "THAT'S THE WORD!!!!!!!!!"

How fortunate that our children need us for more than snacks. (Goats, on the other hand...)